My Story

I was thirty-three years old, seemingly happily married and with a thriving career when my life was turned upside down. I woke up on a Tuesday to find my husband had unexpectedly passed away during the night. My life, a seemingly happy marriage, and a thriving career crashed that morning. I had to face a grieving process and a sobering new reality that my life was a mess - a personal and financial disaster as a result of being married to a drug addict and a crushing blow to my confidence by realizing that for years, I lived in a ‘happy lie.” To my family, friends and outside observers, I seemed happy and fulfilled with everything anyone would want.

My new reality was filled with sadness, loss and the realization that I gave up my own identity for years in exchange for making everyone else in my life happier.  I was scared, overwhelmed and totally confused about which direction to go or how to help myself. I spent so many years focusing on what other wanted, I actually had NO IDEA what I wanted.

I couldn’t go back to pretending everything was fine. So I tried to change my world. I redecorated everything. I made new friends. I spent way too much money on clothes, shoes and bags I thought would bring me happiness. I invested time in more than one exhausting relationship with a “prince charming” I thought would “save me”. I went on a quest to finally figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up but couldn’t get past the belief I wasn't actually qualified for anything else. I made lots of bad decisions after drinking too much wine. I finally realized the external changes I was making weren’t working. Something wasn’t right.

 
 
 
 

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The changes I wanted were external but in order to get there, I realized I had to work on what was going on in my head- the continuous internal dialog that had me going nowhere fast. It was during a visit to the gym that my trainer shared her enthusiasm about her life coach. It was the first time I have even heard about that profession. I followed our talk by making an assessment appointment with her life coach and made an immediate and intimate connection with her. I walked back to my apartment with a strange sense of hope by realizing that I had the power, and the strength, to change and control my life; that I no longer had to settle, point fingers and it was my choice to take responsibility for my future.

My life didn’t change overnight; coaching is a process of discovery, inward thinking, acknowledging, accepting reality and taking control over my thoughts and ensuing actions.  The work with my coach led to:  

●      Changing professions and finding work I love.

●      Taking control of my relationships - who I chose and how I showed up.

●      No longer using food and other unhealthy habits as a means of comfort.

Most of all, I committed to keeping my word to myself; to trusting myself, to not settle or let fear dictate my actions. I embraced the realization that every day I’m not moving forward and closer to the life I want and deserve, is a lost opportunity but my responsibility.

Today I am happily married, living in NYC with my husband Stuart and our English Bulldog Lulu. And I’ve been doing work I love for the past 12 years. Of course, my life is not perfect, and I still hit rough patches sometimes, but the difference is I believe in myself to navigate through them.  I have learned to dream bigger for myself and no longer believe in limitations. I’ve learned that there is no such thing as being fearless – only having the courage to go for my dreams.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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